Everybody is trying their best to help me. Everybody is trying their best to listen. But no one seems to understand. My dear just turn off the lights and leave me here in the dark. I'll die happy trying everything. I'm a hopeless bastard.

Right now, I'm emotionally stressed, I'm physically tired, my eyes are burning from all those tears, my heart is caught in suspension and I'm humanly unstable. July 15, 2006 at around 6:30 am, everything will never be the same again. I don't know what to say anymore rather I don't know what to do and I don't know where to start.

Brad alam mo na yun. I don't need to repeat what I've just said moments before your departure. As soon as I got home, I tried calling your phone but to no avail. You've just left the area of coverage. I was hoping to say goodbye to you for the last time.

On the other hand, I know that you will be back, I don't know when, where and how but I know deep inside my heart that you will be back to keep your promise.

Sabi ko nga sayo Brad, "Bawal akong mamatay dahil meron pa akong kailangan makilala."

Sagot mo naman, "Oo, bawal ka pang mamatay kasi babalik pa ako."

Hindi man ako naniniwala sa Diyos o sa kung sino man, tinanggap ko ang munting regalo mo, kasi alam kong alam mo kung ano ang makabubuti sa akin, may tiwala ka sa akin at meron din naman akong tiwala sayo. Basta tandaan mo lang, maghihintay lang ako dito kahit gaano pa katagal.

BAWAL AKONG MAMATAY.

The past 3 days will definitely leave a mark in my life. Friday felt like hell after that rollercoaster ride I just went through to help me not worry but in the end it wasn't enough. Come Saturday morning, I had the chance to play percussions just for the sake of trying. Later on that day, we went to Mega for our ultimate brad attack on who else but the brad himself. He had no idea.

Saturday. Wow. Ibang klase. Masaya kasi ang dami naming ginawa. Kain at inom buong araw at gabi. Tapos late night partying at Temple. Tapos we met some chicks who came from UP. We went home with all smiles. I went home smiling trying to hide a heavy heart.

Saturday night. The words you told me didn't feel real. Parang panaginip lang, hindi, parang isang bangungot siya. Lahat ng pangaral, lahat ng parting words mo brad, akala ko bangungot lang, I never thought I'll live to see this day. But a promise is a promise. Lahat ng pangako ko asahan mo.

Parting was never easy. Never. And right now I can't believe that you'll be leaving in just a week or less. Di ata ok yun. Gusto ko na lang umiyak.

Yung pag-alis mo papuntang Cada, it's like exploring a dark cave without any lights. I hope you get the picture.

Di ko ata kaya tanggapin toh. Seryoso lang brad.